Como Metropolitan Miami Beach is a soothing refurb of a 1920s art deco grand dame with an enviable beachfront perch, set in the hushed historic district. Stroll the private beach, lounge poolside with a revitalizing smoothie from the juice bar and don’t leave without a massage (or two) from the famed Como spa. Feeling relaxed yet?
10 per cent off spa service and two welcome drinks
In the know
Also need to know:
Disabled-access and hearing-impaired rooms are available. Beyond exceptional massages and facials, the spa set on the hotel’s top floor, also offers guided meditation, pranayama breathing and private yoga classes (US¢150 an hour, for up to two guests).
Leave your yoga mat at home; the hotel have several stashed away for classes.
You'll chill out by day here, but the Traymore is certainly a spot worth dressing up for at night. Maxi dresses and platform sandals for her and crisp button downs and linen trousers for him.
Mr and Mrs Smith reviews
There aren’t many more exciting things than a sunny holiday in soggy spring, especially when you’ve been asked to covertly review the hotel where you’re staying. However, secrecy requires a level of restraint and composure that certainly doesn’t marry well with wild-eyed excitement.
And so did the two most unlikely spies arrive at a newly opened spa retreat, Como Metropolitan Miami Beach, wearing the thrill of their mission all over their faces. Mr Smith, in particular, needed to be reminded that he was no Will Smith, either – sunglasses are not to be worn inside and you can’t blink and suddenly disappear from sight.
Yet, the arrival in Miami is very Will Smith. In many ways, the city is the breathing cliché of every song and movie about it. Stroll down South Beach and you’ll witness all manner of horrors, wonders and joys – towering apartment blocks, flashing neon lining the streets and muscle-flexing gangsters roaming them.
But drift past this garish display, and you’ll find your way to a shining white art deco façade, the former home of the Traymore hotel, that’s been elegantly reimagined (without scrapping its historic charm) as a tranquil stay.
Bienvenido a Miami, is right. Staff with perma-grins greeted us in the luxurious lobby set with imposing columns, sheet-white walls and marble floors. Everybody was so cheerful that we suspected they were onto us, and our brief espionage careers was now in tatters.
A smiling (of course) bellhop showed us to our Ocean View Room styled with pistachio walls, speckled marble floor and, crucially, a huge bed. Ample wiggle room so that I might escape the blaring nasal trumpets of Mr Smith is key to us having a nice stay.
Upon closer inspection of our surroundings, we realized that all this grinning was not because the staff had been tipped off to our covert status, but, it was a reflex of being surrounded by such beauty. Specifically, the hotel’s private stretch of sand – a refuge of simplicity and chic design in what is otherwise sprawling South Beach. You’d think there was no space left to build on Florida’s most overpopulated sand pit, but the hotel has somehow carved out an idyll of calm right in its centre.
Strolling waist-high into the sparkling clear Atlantic Ocean, I glanced back at the hotel glimmering in the sunlight and wondered why you would ever step out of this shawl of comfort into anywhere else in Miami. Bouncy nautical servers even brought oranges for us to suck on in the heat, alongside incredible lunches of humungous prawns, kale and beet salads and all manner of healthy and not so healthy (Mr Smith, ahem) treats.
Unfortunately, not as content as me to sit and blissfully do nothing, Mr Smith was craving adventure. After my flat-out rejections regarding jet skiing and the somewhat alarming beachside adverts to visit an AK-47 shooting range, this couple’s concord was made on a bike ride.
Cruising along a pedestrian walkway between the hotel and the beach, we spied on all the other hotels lining the beach and congratulated ourselves on having chosen the best one. It was a pleasant enough trip, well, until Mr Smith decided to take us on some godforsaken mission to find the mainland. Fast forward 40 minutes, multiple wrong turns, the searing afternoon sun and soon we were cowering in the shade, heat stroke setting upon us and huge lorries flying past on the dual carriage way we had mistakenly chosen for our sojourn. My advice: do go cycling but stick to where the hotel tells you – trust their smiling advice.
Just as this Mrs Smith considered becoming a Miss, we arrived back at the hotel to be greeted with brownies, macaroons and orange chocolate. Confirming what was by now all too clear – you need a very good reason to leave the Metropolitan, even for an hour.
Being model students, by day two we had learnt our lesson and spent the evening dining in the hotel rather than chance venturing out to the sprawling promenade nearby. Retiring to our room, we made use of the excellent in-room music system to have our very own rave of delirious tequila-fuelled dancing and singing on beds to Jarvis Cocker. And, until I decided that my pillow was actually far more interesting than Mr’s very best hip wiggles and vocals, there was really no better place to be in Miami.
Relaxed (ok, hung over), bronzed, a bit pudgier round the edges and crucially, relationship in tact (thank you, massive bed) our stay had come to a close. What’s more, the front desk even humoured us by pretending that they had no idea that we were reviewing them after all (surely they couldn’t have been that nice?), and thus allowing Mr Smith his certified undercover status.
Well, it was the perfect holiday until disaster struck and we missed our flight. Whose fault (definitely mine but we shan’t be admitting that)? Really, it’s simply more evidence that all good things in Miami happen within the soothing confines of the Como Metropolitan, and all else is at your own risk once you step outside of this sleek sanctuary.
2445 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach, Florida 33140, United States
0.7 mi / 1.2 km from city centre
- Valet parking
- Aerobics instruction
- Exercise gym
- Internet services
- Complimentary in-room coffee or tea
- Room service
- Onsite laundry
The Traymore (the name a nod to the former hotel housed here) puts a contemporary spin – elegant globe pendant lights, high-backed banquets that hug stately columns – on this classic art-deco space. And the menu takes a seafood-to-table approach, focusing on fresh local catch such as stone crabs and yellow tail snapper, along with American classics. Snag an outdoor table or a private cabana for poolside dining on brick oven pizza, juicy burgers and bright salads.
Bask in those balmy beach breezes at a table on the elegant Traymore terrace.
Traymore serves breakfast 7am to 11am; lunch 11am to 3:30pm; dinner 6pm to 11pm Sunday to Thursday and until 12pm Friday and Saturday. Poolside dining is available 11am to 7pm.
Room service is available 24-hours, with a full room service menu from the Traymore from 7am to 12midnight and a late-night snack from 12pm to 7am.
The centerpiece of the hotel lobby, the sleek Traymore bar features a Jazz-age-inspired Gin Club with specialty cocktails made from their list of over 30 artisanal gins. A full drinks menu of beer, wine, spirits and champagne is also on hand.